Roommate: Does he always . . . you know?  He was doing it the last time.

Me: Play with his penis?

Roommate: (it should be mentioned the roommate is male, but he's also from the Midwest, which usually means they have different sensibilities.)  Yeah, he seems to do it a lot.

Me: Well, it's there.  It's fun, so he thinks why not.  I am not quite sure if men didn't wear clothes, they would be playing with theirs all the time, too.

Roommate: I don't . . . never mind.

Yup, there really isn't any argument to the theory.  My husband says girls would do the same thing.  I shrug.  Some would.  Some can contain themselves.  Men are just obsessed.

**

Who Gets to Have the Longest Dick Wins

Paseo de Roxas, past ten in the evening—male one engorges in hormone induced penis-talk with male two (Teig covertly records their conversation)

Male one: how long’s your dick dude?

Male two: that ain’t any of your business

Male one: so it must be a millimeter short and a millimeter thick then eh?

Male two: this talk will definitely reach Gina’s ears tonight

Male one: c’mon dude! You’ve been my friend, like for… forever.

Male two: Five years, by definition, isn’t forever loves (likens voice to a man who got them boobies!)

Male one: well, may I at least make an estimate?

Male two: fire away, male gumbo!

Male one: five, six inches long?

Male two: you guessed it!

Male one: huh? What the hell? You weren’t born with two penises, were you?

Male two: I didn’t say I was, nor did I say I wasn’t…ask Gina if you’re that desperate to find out.

Conversation ends.

I cannot help but wonder if in fact Manilenos have become this obsessed with how their penises function; its size, shape and frequency of use have gone to become the proverbial deterrent to male-hood.

Question… if all men were born with, say, five inch doodies, and women born with vaginas of infinite stretchability and luster…shall the female vixen, for the first time in history, win over male cows?

Philippine society has reached a consensus—males are to be males if they have penises larger than life itself.

Which was your favorite? Any you'd like to share that are particularly good? Email them to me and I'll post them next week.

Want to see more? Click HERE or HERE for past motivational poster posts.

THE PHALLUS FESTIVAL!!!!!!!!

Yes, that's right, The Phallus Festival. Every year on the first Monday of Lent, a village in Greece by the name of Tyrnavos celebrate penises in all their glory.  In this one day fertility festival,residents wear model penises, use penis straws in penis cups, sing penis songs...... and watch out if you are a visitor . 

 I quote, "  Come prepared. Passersby tend to be grabbed and rocked over a pot of boiling "bourani" spinach soup while a ceramic penis is placed between their legs. They must kiss the phallus, then drink tsipouro -- a strong local spirit -- from its tip, and then stir the soup before they're let go.                                            Phallus-kissers are rewarded with ash-streaks on their face, which presumably absolves them from having to go through the procedure again, unless of course they would like to. "

My, sounds like fun, doesn't it? These people should pair up with the organizers of the Testicle Festival. THAT would be a bash worth travelling for!!  Check out the full story here, because I'm not putting any penis pictures up !  http://www.spiegel.de/international/zeitgeist/0,1518,553070,00.html  Ahhhh, Dave would have loved that one...

An interesting tidbit that ties into whats going on with my hometown of Prince George, BC. Yep, you got it -I'm a northern girl, born and bred. Well, actually I haven't lived there since I was 18, but whatever. Its where I call home and my family is still there. Making the news for the second time in as many weeks, is the RCMP police Superintendent, Dahl Chambers. Last week it was reported that he was forced to apologise for ongoing harassment of three workers in the detachment, including a civilian manager. http://www.cbc.ca/canada/british-columbia/story/2008/08/13/bc-prince-george-rcmp-apology-dahl.html 

This week, the dark cloud gets that much bigger over his head as a secret city hall report is revealed by CBC news that alleges Supt. Dahl Chambers secretly dated a senior city manager for over a year before going public with their relationship.  http://www.cbc.ca/canada/british-columbia/story/2008/08/18/bc-prince-george-rcmp-chamber-conflict.html 

Chambers and Manager Ann Bailey now live together, but the relationship created a conflict of interest that has continued for years. During part of that time, Bailey was responsible for assistance in city human resource issues, and the report states that many people felt that the top cop was protecting his girlfriends interests.... no, really?  Although the city was given the report over 6 months ago, they still have done nothing, and refused commenting when contacted by CBC news. No kidding. Phew- something stinks here!  Check out the actual lawyers document here for all the details : http://www.cbc.ca/bc/news/bc-080818-chambers-bailey-report.pdf

Hello city hall, is there not a policy in place that covers inter-office and inter-agency relationships such as this, because if there isn't, there should be? Imagine trying to file a complaint against your boss( the cop) and then the person who handles and advises the complaints turns out to be the bosses girlfriend!

So what is going on in my hometown? Prince George has been popping up in the news with increasing frequency, and it hasn't been exactly been what city tourism officials would call 'Good PR'.  Back in March Macleans Magazine ranked Prince George as one of Canada's most dangerous cities because it has the fourth highest crime rate in Canada.  Supt. Dahl Chambers refuted the claim, but we all know what his word is worth- nothing.  In fact, Prince George is a thriving criminal metropolis. The Renegades, The Independent Soldiers, and The Crew are battling out turf wars as I write this,and some call the city a war zone. My professional contacts in PG tell me that people don't feel safe downtown anymore. Recently,a gun battle broke out on a downtown street and its a miracle an innocent shopper wasn't killed. Clearly, the RCMP in town do not have a handle on the situation. http://www.cbc.ca/canada/british-columbia/story/2008/08/08/bc-drug-torture.html

It makes me angry and sad. This is where I grew up, and the city has had its fair share of hard knocks in recent years. The governments mis-management of the pine beetle , which killed a good majority of the cities in town and surrounding forests. The forestry industry is tanking. A major employer burned to the ground, and of course, the gang activity. Its not a surprise that as the rest of the economy cools, the crime increases. I just hope that its not one of my friends or family that turns out to be in the wrong spot, at the wrong time.  Or any innocent person for that matter.

What are city officials doing about all of this? I'm sending a letter off to find out.

And finally, let me remind you to check out my Easter Seals Drop Zone page at the top of the site.  I'll be rappelling down a 20 story building to raise money for kids with disabilities, and I hope you will join me by making a donation ,and then coming down to watch!! And, if you dont want your name "out there" there is an option to leave your details anonymously.  Heres the link to my Easter Seals profile and sponsor page : https://payment.csfm.com/events/bclions/dropzone_van/visitor/index.php?action=profile&participant_id=714627551218950043

Enjoy!

JK, on The Economist

Dear Reader,

I've added yet another webcomic to my morning tea reading list.

In fact, i've spent the last three days' worth of morning teas and lunchtimes going through the archive, right from the first episode.

Anders Loves Maria has everything you could want from a webcomic, assuming that everything you want from a webcomic is to see Swedes having some pretty explicit sexual intercourse in between trying to sort out their increasingly complex relationships.

It's a bit of a soap opera (but in a good way), and it's educational, too, on account of how there's lots of words here and there in Swedish.

Like, did you know that the Swedish word for 'kiss' is 'puss'?

But it is in English, let me stress that. Most of the time, anyway.

Drawn by Rene Engstrom, a Swedish mum who just recently cut the top of her thumb off with a cheese slicer (by accident, not as some sort of statement), the series sports not only the eponymous central characters - the contact-celebrity Anders and the pregnant-with-his-child Maria - but also the complex Tina (Maria's sort-of-step sister, and a girl who can, after a few wines and a few goes, learn to enjoy anal) and Johan (Maria's attitude-ridden big brother who has a penchant for vandalising his sort-of-step sister's house).

But, seriously, if the sight of illustrated penises (some aroused), vaginas, nipples and boobies (not to mention illustrated depictions of intercourse) make you reach for the off button on your computer, you'll have to give this one a wide berth.

Apparently Ms Engstrom has had trouble with some webcomiceers linking to her, on account of the... open and healthy Scandinavian attitude to rooting that flavours her storyline.

Here at Gullybogan Media Enterprises, we aren't as squeamish as those uptight webcomiceers.

The thing i liked so much about this strip (and there's lots to like) was the fact that the female antagonist is pregnant. One of the novels i'm writing in my head has a female antagonist who's pregnant, and i had all these moments when reading the Anders Loves Maria archive when i thought to myself, 'Now, i'd do that this way...'

I like things that make me think.

Plus, with the Juno DVD coming out in less than a week's time, pregnancy is fully in fashion right now.

If you try out Anders Loves Maria, i hope you enjoy it.

Yours,
Gullybogan

I hate fondues. I don't like most people enough to talk with them, never mind share a communal cooking pot. I watch them chewing all over the food and cringe. I hope that the oil is hot enough to vaporize any foreign bodies spread by their saliva or dead skin flakes or crusty pieces of bogies. I stop eating in favour of not throwing up.

Worse than this is the accompanying conversation. It's hard to take anyone seriously who forgets about their piece of steak and acts all surprised when it emerges, charred, a few minutes on. And inevitably, as always after a pint of wine, someone starts to reminisce on the so-called good old days; those days when women were still housewives and blacks still treated like dirt.

Discrimination is implicit in all such memories. No wonder white men in particular are prone to recalling those merry old times when the world was still sane and a penny could buy a car.

Anyway, what's a weekend without Thabo-bashing?

Thabo Mbeki has gotten his very own pep squad. The MDC have now agreed to enter into talks with Robert Mugabe and his pep squad, the Zanu-PF, probably figuring that this is about as good as it's gonna get for them. At least there's a chance that Thabo's pep squad will keep his questionable preference for Robert and Robert's illegal government in check.

I'm starting to think alcohol is inevitable.

Last time I was far too stupid (not to say that doing what I was doing this time around was the most intelligent thing I have ever done). I did more this time.  Lots of adult content btw, not suitable for kids.  Must be over 18 to view etc etc. 

I was told last time that we couldn't take photos, we can actually take photos - just as long as you don't aim it at the windows. This place was packed, sort of like last time - except that I was far more aware. Sooo many idiotic Australians & English, all moving in groups - just stay out of their way. But at least they're funny, the eastern Europeans looked dangerous.

Rolling joints in the Hotel felt so illegal. It wasn't. I remember doing it for a mate in Australia. I just need to emphasise that I don't do drugs. What happens in Amsterdam basically stays there.

Alright, the stuff on the left that looks like moss is called "Nothern Lights" - sometimes when you're stoned, there's a light show going on. I have only ever seen that once. But the problem with rolling those joints is that people can see them and smell them.

So - the next option is to use an actual cigarette and use hash instead (it's the brown stuff that looks like poo). You just take the tobacco out of the cigarette, mix it with the hash and then shove it back in. Hash doesn't smell as bad as weed, but the effect is much weaker. Actually, neither of these drugs have much affect, I am proud to say.

Now these are processed magic mushrooms, they were the most expensive on sale. Shrooms taste like shit you see, so they've tried to caramelise them to make them taste better. They didn't, they tasted like sand - it was like chewing sand. It's best to take a couple of bites, and swallow. You're not supposed to eat anything with them.

They're fuckin toxic, don't do them! Euphoria might be worth it, but the downer can last for days. They increase your heart beat phenomenally, not a good time to die. But the dilated eyes are pretty cool, you just look like fish. The worst part of it is closing your eyes, the hallucinations are far worse than just having your eyes open. It's like your subconcious mind is released in your eyes.

We went to a sex show after the cafe, and paid 25€ entry. It was so not worth it. Very VERY ugly women doing sex acts on stage. The woman totally didn't do anything to the Bananna as I expected her to, but there was a woman who managed to stretch all this string out her moot. And there was another who was writing with her vajajay.

What was bad was that the guy who was having sex, was like Asian and wearing cow boy boots. He was brown, but his dick was black. It looked like it wasn't his dick. The white girl that was sucking it looked like it was her day job.

But by the time we got to the sex museum, I was a bit out of it. I think this place was made for people who were stoned anyway.

I spent all this time taking photos of phallic symbols. Meh.

I got to say that the sex museum in Amsterdam was disappointing. The one in Copenhagen was far more detailed, lots more to see and do. Why does the guy have his shirt on?

Sleeping beauty naked asn't as shocking as two carebears fucking. Ah ha ha ha.

Meh.

New Taschen book, everyone!

When it comes to pleasure, size doesn’t matter; as we all know it’s quality, not quantity, that counts. But let’s admit it: a big penis is undeniably compelling.

Truer words have never been said. You should probably check it out. Mind = blown.

At least I'm writing something.  That is more than I've written in the past few months.  I just wish my fledgling efforts were amounting to something more substantial than lowbrow ephemera.

I plan to enter a few contests for short fiction and poetry in the coming months.  Let's pray that I'm inspired to scribble down something less insipid.

Recently Don Imus came out of his space cocoon on Planet Sasquatch to open his mouth once again. Although in the past he has come out to display nuggets of far-out space age wisdom, such as that black women are prostitutes with black curly hair, this time Mr. Imus has emerged a "wiser", more "intelligent" man, excepting that he still cannot keep his big mouth shut. In other words, he basically said that black people are dirty criminals.

Newsreader Charles Warner Wolf: ...[H]e's been arrested six times since being drafted by Tennessee in 2005...

IMUS: What color is he?

Wolf: ...He's African-American

IMUS: Well. There you go. Now we know.

Now I think we know what Mr. Imus is talking about. Some of the actions of black men against white men in this nation have been positively criminal. If they aren't stealing the melanin straight off the skin of white people, they're using their insane powers to steal precious inches from the white man's penis. Let me be honest here, and say I think that that's a shame, and the black people of the United States should be forced to give white people their melanin back, in the same way white people gave back to black people after beating and abusing and raping them for generations, that is by loaning them forty acres and a mule.

And let us not forget, the mule should at least be housetrained.

They should also give a formal, heart-rending apology to Conan O'Brien's wife. I can only imagine what their late-night conversations must be like:

Mrs. Conan O'Brien: Half an inch?

Conan O'Brien (frantically): It's O.J. Simpson's fault!!

I also believe that Michael Jackson should be thanked for being the first to give back nearly all of the melanin he has ever had in his entire body, although it would have been nice if he could have given some of it to Macaulay Culkin.

Macaulay Culkin: Half an inch?

Michael Jackson: Hey, that's what you get when you try to give white men their melanin and penis sizes back!

The reason Don Imus is so serious about penis size and melanin to the point that he'd make a racist comment about a basketball player over it, other than the fact that he is gay for Howard Stern, is because he lives on a ranch in New Mexico. I know by experience that New Mexico ranches are no place for lily-white rednecks with no ability to handle the sun. For example, recently my uncle, his nephew, and his nephew's Wiccan girlfriend and I went fishing in the rivers of Northern New Mexico, an area known for having one billion parts sun for every part water there is. I learned many things from these three, for example, that Arab people have contributed nothing to Western civilization and apparently things like algebra and the alphabet are nonexistent entities or lies perpetrated by liberals. But the most important thing I learned is that, if you have no melanin in your skin, it doesn't matter how much SPF 50 sunscreen you put on. You will still wind up peeling like a banana, whereas others will be outside with bronze skin, wearing nothing but tanning oil and a smile, and their skin will just get more melanin, and they'll become more attractive and more likely to take away your wife. And she will most likely never go back, especially if the guy taking your wife happens to be Seal. You'd be lucky to get your Garth Brooks CDs back at that point.

Seal, "Crazy", 1990, Warner Bros. Posted to Youtube by "SealOfficial"

Maybe these people are stealing the white man's melanin, too. I've seen a lot of dark Hispanic and Asian people too. In fact, I've seen lots of white people with really dark, bronzed skin. Maybe all these races are just stealing melanin from poor old folks like Don Imus.

And maybe--just maybe--all these races are capable of stealing, being thieves, riding in low-rider cars, cutting in front of me on the freeway, and just generally being assholes. Maybe even Don Imus knows this. Maybe, just maybe, he was saying that "Pacman Jones" was arrested all those times because he was black and black people get arrested more than white people. Maybe his comment was an attempt to repair his racism-scarred reputation. Perhaps, as a shock jock, he felt the need to make an important racial statement while simultaneously pissing people off. Perhaps this "Pacman Jones" person will eventually become well known outside of the realm of being a basketball player jock with a history of run-ins with the law.

Or what if it's the opposite: That Don Imus is really trying to sneak racism and hate-think into American society via a news show nobody listens to, except rich white people who are already more racist and culturally insulated than a glorified talk-show host ever could be? What kinds of ramifications could there be if such thought entered the general American populace? Would it hurt black peoples' feelings, or cause white people to become neo-Nazis and join the Ku Klux Klan? Who knows what Don Imus could be capable of?!

More importantly, who cares?

- i am getting chubby sitting at home all day, unable to move in this blinding heat. i don't think mark (or any guy i've ever hooked up with - with the exception of T1 once after we'd broken up) has commented negatively about my body, but feeling jiggly makes me self-conscious and shy, and that i hate. when i'm in love with my body it makes me feel so hot and so much more confident and aggressive... my friends were always able to tell when i was in this mood - they called it "on the hunt." but right now i feel like curling up into a little ball and hiding in a corner of my bed. or getting liposuction.

- T2 is coming home from his graduation trip the day after tomorrow. luckily i am leaving on friday. i think we regard each other as liabilities. last time i saw him, we kind of accidentally hooked up. the man has morals of steel and an adamantium self-control (yay nerd reference!), so i chalk this up to my own sluttishness. i was plastered, he was driving me home... we started driving around the deserted mountain roads near my house to give me time to sober up... next thing you know, i'm kneeling in the backseat giving him a BJ. i was a total mess: still drunk, incredibly horny, crying, apologizing, sloppy, etc. sigh. i don't even know.

- i think mark and i might actually try anal. (implication: i think mark and i might actually see each other again. which is more than i dared to hope.) okay, so i'm determined about this because the two other things we were supposed to do, hook up in the stacks and have a threesome, fell through. so if this fails, epic fail. anywho, internet research has yielded the information that one should use fingers first to relax and get used to it, and that it can take several days/weeks to work up to something as big as a penis. and mark's dick is wayyy too big for me to put it off and say, oh, i'm sure it won't be that bad.

i don't think mark's going to try all that much to make this easier for me, so it's up to me if i want this to work. towards that end, last night i went and got some vaseline and some lavender oil, and got to work. sooo.. after a couple of tries and a helping of lube i managed to slip one finger all the way in. it was pretty uncomfortable, i think mainly because of my nails. it's surprisingly sensitive back there. it's an odd sensation, but i can see the appeal for the guy. the ass is a lot tighter, and a lot more... muscular than the vagina. clenching those muscles is a lot more effective than any kegel clench i've ever been able to accomplish. so.. okay. supposedly this can also be pleasurable for the girl involved. i guess i'll keep trying and see where this goes. i still have like three weeks before me and mark are even in the same state, so i have time.

i have this slightly panicky fear that i'm going to seize up in the middle of anal sex, which will make it hurt more, which will make me even more panicky, and i'm going to end up curled up into a little crying heap, traumatizing both of us forever and leaving me unable to function for several days. the only way i can try to avoid this is to keep trying to get myself used to it.

this is one of those times when having a dildo would be incredibly helpful. another reason would be to re-train myself to deepthroat - i was able to deepthroat T1 somewhat easily, but T2 is bigger than him and i could only do it in certain positions, very rarely. mark is considerably thicker than T2, and swallowing him is like, impossible. mark really wants me to get myself all the way down on him, but my throat clutches up whenever i try. i don't know if he notices me gagging or not - i try to suppress the reaction. i think part of it is that i also have an abnormally small jaw - my dentist tells me i have a child's mouth (wow, that sounds incredibly wrong). i don't push it because i've heard of girls throwing up trying to deepthroat, and that would be unimaginably gross.

Yes they are saying "penis".

Federal appeal court judge Alex Kozinski called for an ethics panel to investigate his own conduct in regards to the lewd photos and videos on his publicly accessible Web site. "I will cooperate fully in any investigation," Kozinski, chief judge of the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals, said in a statement calling for Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts to assign the inquiry to a panel of judges outside the 9th Circuit's jurisdiction of nine western states. The outcome seems almost laughable as Circuit judges are appointed for life and can only be fired by Congress, though they can be censured by fellow jurists. Court rules permit such investigations to be transferred in high-profile cases, or when a decision within a district might weaken public confidence in the outcome.

The gallery of online images and videos included a picture of two nude women on all fours painted to look like cows, images of masturbation, a video of a bare-bottomed man being pursued by a sexually aroused donkey and a slide show featuring a striptease with a transsexual.

Laurie Levenson, a former federal prosecutor and law professor at Loyola University Law School said, "If you found this kind of thing in your kid's bedroom you would wash your kid's mouth out with soap....Character counts for judges because they have so much power and affect so many people's lives."

The existence of the videos and pictures was first revealed by the Los Angeles Times, which reported that Kozinski had acknowledged the material on his personal Web site, but blocked access to it after being interviewed. He went to claim the images were not obscene.

Cyrus Sanai, a Beverly Hills lawyer, took credit for bringing the graphic material to light.

Sanai said he discovered the sexual content in December while monitoring the judge's Web site as part of an ongoing legal battle with the court. After downloading the files, Sanai said he began contacting reporters at various publications in January to bring attention to what he called widespread ethical problems on the 9th Circuit.

To see the judge's website go HERE

This story of the trial, its suspension, and the judge's personal porn started HERE

The original story continued HERE

iNPLACENEWS

Hear me out!

I started getting sexually harrassed by men as I walked down the street at thirteen. Groups of men making lewd comments at thirteen year old girls? Instant red card. Ref comes in, snatches the penis(es) and says "You can have THIS back when you behave".

I walked past a man once who waggled his eyebrows at me and made a noise like he was having an orgasm. It was gross and uncomfortable. I told him it was rude and asked him to desist. Everytime I saw him after that he wolfwhistled at me then looked the other way to pretend it wasn't him. I mean I do NOT want to be reaching down his pants, but if I confiscated his penis, you betcha he'd learn to shut the fuck up. And at least it would mean I didn't jump up and pummel the fucker's face til he cried for mercy.

I hear the counter-arguments amassing: HORROR! You wants to take the pee-pee??? What if WE took your VAGINA away??? Well, firstly, let's be honest, sexual harrasment is a constant for women, and penises get used as weapons, or as the threat of harm quite often in society, particularly where rape is used as a tool of war, or a tool of control. The vulva does not have such a prominent role as a weapon of violence.  Second, I don't *want* to take it, I am not saying let's pre-emptively remove them all, I'm saying act like a tool and you're on the bench for a few days, though I do think if we're talking war, the penises come off til you come home, seems fair really. Maybe you can be alloted some alone time with them at night. But for real? Don't act like a turd and you've got nothing to worry about. If you're sitting there moaning about "WHY do the feminists hates me so much?" if you AREN'T behaving like an ARSEHOLE then this is not about you!

So I really think it works as a concept: you get to confiscate something of importance, there's no pain, no violence, no ridicule, just a straight up consequence, like confiscating a favourite toy from a child who's having a tantrum. You take it away, they have quiet time, they apologise, you give it back reminding them to behave better next time - except where they've been violent with it. Then maybe we talk about more long-term solutions. And they know you fucking mean business. Men might think twice before harrassing or scaring women. Choices and consequences dudes. Remember those?

So I'm thinking I confiscate them (yep, I fancy myself the Penis-Confiscating-Avenger), label them, store them on racks (like pool queues) and then the men come and line up and make their cases for having them back again. Any macho misogynist anger will result in a lengthening (hehe) of your suspension. Sounds infinately reasonable to me!

I ran this by someone a while ago and they thought I'd be utilising them for pleasure. No way, this is strictly business yáll. Confiscate and return. Besides, dunno if you noticed guys but when you are being an arsehole, we don't actually truck with your penis. So if I've got a wall of penises (penii?) lined up on racks for being JERKS then it's hardly likely to make me feel saucy. And some stranger's disembodied dick? Sorry, they're just NOT that irresistable! Hate to crush you like this guys, but we're not mad for dick like we're mad for chocolate. It's contextual.

I mean I might be tempted to draw little moustaches on them and take photos, but that would be veering away from the respect for the business-like structure I'd like to keep in place.

Anyway. What reminded me of this revolutionary theory? Today's blog post by Sam and the City. I know, I shouldn't read her, it just makes my ears bleed with rage. But I did and it was horrible.

So it's all about this amazing new author (Gareth Sibson)! Who claims [gasp] women are all boring! And self absorbed! And far too ready for sex! And nowhere near as sexy as they think! It's really offputting for him (why doesn't this guy shag his mates then? I mean they're apparently SOOOOO interesting, witty, demure and coy, which are all the right turn ons for him. If women turn you off and are so inferior compared to men...why don't you get yourself a boyfriend? OHhhh right. Women are fine for acting as a mastubatory hole for you cos you don't wanna be like "gay"  or anything! Apparently "real men" shag women - while simultaneously hating them and everything they say/do/think/represent).

Says Sibson: "These women aren't as sexy, strong and independent as they like to think they are," he says. "They are unsavoury and positively rapacious ladies with a penchant for boasting about their bra size within moments of meeting."

WTF??? Unsavoury? Rapacious? Dude, you have a SERIOUS problem!

Sam asks us if the author is right. Should we conclude we're all insane? We're all boring? We're all desperate?

How about concluding that this prick read his dates DIARY and spazzed out over her having a thriteen year old moment which probably meant NOTHING other than she didn't know him enough to loathe him like he deserves, how about concluding he's full of shit, that he's another attention-seeking misogynist?

He's a PRIME candidate for the first one to go up on the rack. Simmer down buddy, work through your issues. Choose your dates more carefully. Stop reading other people's diaries. Consider your own idiocy for a while. Once you've done this and have reached a zen-like state, where I can be sure that vitriolic women-hating bile will not pour forth from you, I will give it back.

Fuck!

Tom and I are on the same page when it comes to the taboo topic of penises. In other countries the Schlong, dick, pole, or what ever odd name it has is praised as the symbol of life. Well here in the states Tom Ford wants you to look at the penises as an art form. Good ol' Tom wrote an essay on the subject of male nudity in the spring/summer issue of Britain's GQ Style:

But, Tom, what if we lived in a world where penises were breasts?
"Imagine … if our suits were entirely designed to show off our penises. Imagine if contemporary fashion demanded that you left your cock hanging outside your trousers, with perhaps just the head trussed up in a tiny pouch like a dick bra. Everyone would see our cocks all the time, in the same way that fashion features women's breasts."

American fashion magazines don't show breasts like European ones do. Do you think nude phobia is a uniquely American problem?
"In Sweden or Japan, or other places … casual nakedness at the sauna or the bath house is part of daily life, but in the places that I call home, the fear factor around nudity seems to be rising. I have always found it ridiculous that, in America, if I wanted to run an ad of a woman with bare breasts I had to retouch her nipples. Now why would a woman's bare breasts, created as nature intended, be more shocking than a bizarre pair of breasts with absolutely no nipples? What could be more perverse?"

He makes a lot of valid points about the peen in the interview. I bet you anything he's packing a nice one, its only obvious that when your comfortable about penises your comfortable with your own.

[source and picture]

-Manuel Paul

Police in Kinshasa, Congo, have arrested 13 suspected "sorcerers" of using black magic to steal or shrink men's penises, after a wave of panic arose and attempted lynchings which were triggered by the witchcraft.

For reals, y'all!

Reuters is reporting it!

Reports of snatching penises is not uncommon in West Africa, where there's still a strong belief in traditional religions and witchcraft. There are often ritual killings to obtain blood or body parts.

Some residents accuse a separatist sect from Bas-Congo of being behind the penis robberies in revenge for a recent crackdown of its members by the government.

Penis robberies!!!!!

Rumors of the penis theft began circulating last week in Kinshasa. Citizens were calling in to radio talk shows to seek advise. Citizens were told to beware of passengers next to them in public transportation, wearing gold rings.

Somebody's gonna snatch your cock on the metro!

There are supposedly 14 victims so far who claim that the sorcerers touched them, and their penises shrunk or disappeared! They claim it is an attempt to extort cash in return for a cure.

Uhm, right.

Local police chief, Jean-Dieudonne Oleko, said in a recent interview, "You just have to be accused of that, and people come after you. We've had a number of attempted lynchings. You see them covered in marks after being beaten."

Oleko continued, "I'm tempted to say it's one huge joke, but when you try to tell the victims that their penises are still there, they tell you that it's become tiny or that they've become impotent. To that I tell them, 'How do you know if you haven't gone home and tried it'."

Apparently, something similar happed over 10 years ago in Ghana, when 12 suspected penis robbers were beaten to death by angry mobs.

But residents are still claiming it's real. Alain Kalala, a local citizen, said "It's real. Just yesterday here, there was a man who was a victim. We saw. What was left was tiny."

Unless it was tiny to begin with?

This was found @ Perez Hilton.com

iNPLACENEWS

*** Ok, ok. Not Kansas really, but rather Kinshasa, Congo. The same, right? Kidding. It's just that Kinshasa and Kansas look the same at quick glance. Made you look though, right?

i dont get 2nd life. i wish i could meet one of the millions who play it. never have. so, apparently this anshe chung character has made ton of cash from selling stuff there. anyways, she had a virtual press conference with cnet or someone, and some jackasses (re:fun guys) decided to rain on the parade. reminds me of the warcraft funeral video. it makes no sense, but is really funny. im not sure what it means. but i like it.