I know myself pretty well and mostly... I am a health nut. Deep down inside I want to be healthy as I can be and often times I take it to extremes. I am a perfectionist and have just recently found the freedom to explore being healthy while having a girlfriend by my side to remind me not to take it too far. She allows me to go extreme but then brings me back to earth when I need to. So I KNEW that watching "Super Size Me" would likely scare me from eating McDonald's or other major fast food restaurants. So finally I got the guts to watch it.

I was SHOCKED at the stuff that was revealed in that documentary. We have pretty much stopped eating any meat that isn't "Cruelty, antibiotic, and chemical" free and almost completely stopped eating beef. So to eat at McDonald's is sort of .... hypocritical to the rest of our lives. Frankly its almost sickening to think I have eaten there as often as I did. I do wonder about the possibility of addiction from the food... but it seems to me that beef is addictive these days. I wonder if that's from the chemicals in all our foods? So our newest commitment is no more eating at fast food restaurants like McDonald's, Burger King, Wendy's, and/or Taco Bell. I am still on the fence about Subway. Currently I am eating there but not sure about their meat. I might begin limiting myself to vegi sandwiches there only.

I know that since we stopped eating SO MUCH meat and have limited the meat we do eat to high quality chemical and cruelty free meat we have felt SO MUCH better. We have began really eating the way humans were intended to eat. We eat in season, we eat beans regular, we eat raw foods, we eat clean food, chemical free, organic!! Ohhh it just feels so good! People compliment us all the time on how good we look and how healthy we look. We have energy we have never had before. We are happier and healthier. Our body functions better. Neither of us has been sick since winter. We are just doing so well and I want to keep it that way. I want to lose weight and we think that McDonald's might have something to do with it being harder to lose weight. So Good bye fast food!

That's just ASKING for a Patented Friar-Induced Giggle Fit.   Here are some of my more memorable ones:

Church
If sitting through a boring Catholic Mass isn't a recipe for disaster, I don't know what is.

I've lost count at the times I've laughed in church.

How about rolling the church pamphlets into cylinders, and using them as a telescopes to look at my buddy across the auditorium?

Or as an Altar Boy, snickering while carrying in the cross in front of 200 parishioners?     (YES!  I was an Altar Boy once....DON'T LAUGH!)

But I especially remember the Gitchi Manitou episode.

Oboy, I'm going to burn in hell for THAT one.

____________________________________________________

Tabernac.  Build a Big Mac
Ages ago, when I worked at McD's, one of the shift mangers gave us a pep talk at a crew meeting.

But he was French-Canadian, so he had problems with certain words.   He didn't know to say tray or spatula, so he improvised with "take dah Bun-Shovel, and put de burger Hon it...".

(Snicker!).  BUN SHOVEL?

Alone, I would have been okay with that. But my partner in crime, Cliff, caught my eye across the room.

And that was the end of THAT.

Cliff and I fed off each other.  We proceeded to giggle with each "Bun shovel".

The thing is, the manager was a nice guy, and he was sincerely trying hard to do a good job, and speak his best English.

And we were being jerks.

And everyone else was listening so INTENTLY...so SERIOUSLY.

Which only made the forbidden laughter (pffft!)  even funnier.

Bun shovel .

(Snicker). 

Take da burger, and put hit on de grill....with the spatule...(Snicker!..hahah).

Pfft.  Hahahh!  (Snicker).

Hopen de Door.   With de Ot Hair.

AHAHAHAH!

It got to the point that all we had to do was LOOK at each other, and we'd start to lose it.

After 10-15 minutes, we were in tears, ready to piss our pants.

The Store Manager had to intervene.  He furiously called the two of us outside, and read us the Riot Act, like we were a couple of five-year-old kids.

We tried to apologize, but it took quite a while to calm us down.

I'm amazed we weren't fired on the spot.

(But who could blame us?)

Come on...how can you resist BUN SHOVEL..!?!?! :-D

____________________________________________________

KHAAAAAAAN!!!
When Stark Trek II (The Wrath of Khan) came out, I was somewhat less (ahem) mature than I am now.

So when I watched this in the theater, I was not exactly the best-behaved audience member.

I made fun of the bad acting.  I mocked the special effects at every opportunity (getting constantly elbowed by my friends in the process, telling me to shut up).

Then, at the end of the movie, Spock died.

(At this point, I was already laughing so hard, I was on the verge of being thrown out of the theater).

But when they had the funeral scene, it sent me right over the edge.

It's when Scotty took out the Bag Pipes.

(Snicker).

No.  Freaking.  Way.

BAG PIPES!?

I just spent 2 hours watching star ships fire photon torpedoes at each other.

And now you're making me watch James Doohan wear a KILT.

And (hmm-hmm pfft!)....play the freaking BAG PIPES!

You have got to be SHITTING ME!

Then Scotty started to blow, and out came the "Amazing Grace"

AHAHAHAHAHH!

(Oooohhhh....I guess I'm supposed to be sad now).  :-D

I vaguely remember repeating "BAG PIPES...???" over and over.

My friends kept shushing me, saying: "Friar....will you PLEASE SHUT UP!"

But I would have none of it.

I just kept laughing and laughing harder and harder.

BAG PIPES?   BAAAAAG PIPES!!?  (BWAHAHAH!)

Then, a strange thing happened.

A few more people in the theater started to giggle.   Then a few more.

Soon the whole theater was guffawing, in an avalanche of laughter that I had triggered.

As we left the theater, my friend shook his head, and called me a KNOB.

He pointed out that if it had been ANY OTHER theater in the country,  when Spock died, there wouldn't' have been a dry eye in the house.

But only you, Friar...ONLY YOU...can get the whole house laughing.

What was otherwise one of the saddest moments in the movie, turned into a comedy fest.

And I alone, was responsible.

It was one of my proudest moments.

When I left Lansing this afternoon, I had no intention of eating fast food.  I knew when I left for Champaign, IL at about 1:30, I would have to stop somewhere for lunch before I got to my parents house.  Just to their house, it's about a four hour drive and Champaign is another hour after that.  I got just passed Kalamazoo and got really, really hungry.  I pulled off in Paw Paw.  Being a county seat, I assumed there would have to be sandwich places near the courthouse.  There were a lot of restaurants, bars, and pubs, but not a whole lot of quick sandwich shops.  The one I did find in the main business district was already closed for the day as it was almost 3:00.

After striking out downtown, I drove back out towards the Interstate where chains dominate the landscape.  There used to be a place called the Chicken Coop (review HERE) close to I-94, but since the last time I was in town (May), it has been torn down and a Walgreens is being built.  So, my choices were all chains.  I contemplated Taco Bell, but realized that would be hard to eat in the car.  I ended up choosing McDonald's mostly because it was next to a stop light and it'd be easy to cross traffic to get back to the Interstate. 

The last few times I've been to McDonald's (not counting a late not stop on my way home from Indy I didn't blog about), I've gotten the Southwestern Salad.  I couldn't eat a salad while driving and honestly, I just wanted a greasy cheeseburger and fries.  I get what I usually get.  A double quarter pounder with cheese plain and fries.  I order fast food cheeseburgers plain so it's at least heated up before I get it and the toppings they put on aren't fresh or anything, so it's pointless.  I'd rather just have the meat. 

This was an interesting McDonald's.  I know they're trying to change their image to stay fresh, but I've never seen this design before.  The dining room is a little more interesting than the usual two rows of booths.  I don't know if I'd call it an art deco design, but there is a lot more color and design put into the seating areas.  I had to weave around tables just to find a the bathroom which was another reason I stopped where I did.

I grabbed my meal to go then jumped back in the truck to continue my five hour drive.  That burger really hit the spot.  I was somewhat good and only got a medium fry and Coke so it didn't quite fill me up, but it held me over until I got to my parents where my dad and brother were working on cooking T-Bones on the grill. 

McDonald's is pretty much a treat for me.  I don't want to eat there everyday...or hell, even once a week, but every now and then, it really does something for me.  I'll get a craving about once a month and that's about it.  I'm not a fast food guy, but it's one of those things that I just get a hankering for.

Well this morning I was heading out on a business trip and pulled into McDonald's at 5:57am to get a skinny latte. When I placed my order at the drive-thru, I was told by the lady on the other end of the microphone that their McCafe was not open. Surprised, I asked the obvious and she told me that it opens at 6am. (It is a 24-hour McDonald's.) So I asked, "You mean in three minutes? Can't I just order my latte right now?" I half laughed because the three minute barrier seemed absurd. The woman helping me then responded that it would be another three or ten minutes. Ten minutes? By this time is was 5:59am. I said, "But I thought you said it opens at 6am?" She then informed me that there was some delay and it would not be opening at 6am.

At this time I got frustrated and drove my car around and went into the McDonald's. The McCafe was dark and desolate looking. According to the manager, the woman who runs the McCafe equipment had not yet arrived and they weren't sure how long it would be. Evidently, no one else could operate the equipment. Amazing! So, I bought a cup of coffee and an Egg McMuffin (no meat). When I asked for my receipt the manager told me that it would not be possible to provide me with a receipt. According to her account, all of the receipt printers were inoperable or malfunctioning. Amazing! I left without my latte and without a receipt.

The moral of this story is that the McDonald's brand lives and dies by its ability to live up to the promise of extremely convenient access to adequate product (not great). McDonald's reputation hinges upon the experience of its customers. My experience did not reinforce a position of convenience. In fact, it was frustrating, disappointing and inconvenient.

As I said, McDonald's is no Starbucks. In this case, it wasn't even a convenient substitute.

But some forwards are just plain annoying; laughable, if not so annoying.  Forwards I usually receive are the right-wing propaganda and carry the political/religious message.  So I decided to showcase a few which I feel win the metals for "most-annoying-forwards-I-have-received-in-the-last-few-weeks."  Feel free to comment with a forward or two you find humorously annoying.

BRONZE  -  Fwd: A WAR that we can't afford to lose!

This forward contained material about a conference in apologetics for youth.  I love apologetics and, actually, it wasn't all that bad of an email.  I guess the title just annoyed me.  It's the old idea that the greatest threat we, as Christians, face is the loss of head knowledge.  That if 60% of evangelical teens believe that the resurrection us figurative then we're sunk.  Now, I believe in a literal resurrection and not only do I believe this but would say that our entire faith is built around a literal resurrection.  Regardless, I ask, why are evangelical youth walking away from historic doctrinal positions?  And the answer would probably be somewhere around the fact that evangelical churches have become institutions of learning and not about life transformation in community...loving God and loving our neighbor is a war we cannot afford to lose.

SILVER  -  FW: New Pledge of Allegiance‏

This is a "cute" little pledge of allegiance which essentially complains about the fact that "God has been taken out of the schools."  I should have copied and pasted it before I deleted it but oh well.  It's just another one of those.

GOLD  -  FW: McDonald's Comes Out of the Closet‏

Enough said.

So this is my 100th post and it's supposed to be some huge monumental earth-shattering, a-ha moment for you my faithful readers. Well it's time for you to get over that fantasy real quick because this isn't even going to be an original idea. Here's the
original concept.

So my message today is for all you lazy arse, single, able-bodied individuals who were clogging up the freaking drive thru at McDonald's at 9:45 this morning. Get out of your freaking car so that mommies like me with two little kids and a raging headache can get their iced vanilla coffee and hit the road to the commissary.

You see we live in a community of about 15,000 people. There is one McDonald's and not a Starbucks in sight. So when I need a coffee fix, I am really limited in my choices. Today this was especially true. If we were going "to town" we would have been fine because there is a Starbucks about 11 miles south of our house. But today we were going on base, so we were going about 20 miles east of our house. There was no way to justify hopping on the freeway for 11 miles only to backtrack up to our house and head out to the base. So I was screwed basically by the lazy, inconsiderate boobs that were too lame to get out of their cars.

For the entire 20-ish miles to base, the Big One kept asking about why we turned around and left McDonald's without my coffee. I tried to explain to her three-year-old brain that I was not waiting behind six cars for my coffee (and blocking traffic in the parking lot). And that mommy would just have a headache the rest of the day because of it. Of course this just brought about more questions: What is lazy? Why do you have a headache? Why didn't you get coffee? Why don't we go to Starbucks? Starbucks has apple juice for me! Did you want coffee, mommy? And on and on and on, like only a three-year-old can do.

I figured if we suffered through the commissary I would stop on the way back home and get one. Then when we left the commissary I notice a picture beckoning to me. The Burger King on base had a big picture of the "BK Joe Mocha" on the widow. I thought well lookie there, a sign. I guess I better try it.

Just so you know it's not worth it. I am not a Burger King fan to begin with and now this "mocha" has solidified my distaste for the BK. It seriously tasted like chocolate milk. Now I like chocolate milk alright, but I was expecting that lovely bitter coffee aftertaste and was sorely disappointed with my choice.

So not only am I not ticked off at the people in my community, I am cursing the Air Force for contracting with Burger King. {The Navy contracts with McDonald's so every Navy or Marine base will have the goodness that is McD's, while us AF people are stuck with the nastiness that is Burger King}.

For those of you with many a McDonald's to choose from, thank your lucky stars today and have an iced vanilla coffee for me to celebrate my 100th post.

The other night I went through the drive-thru for an ice cream run.  This is an act of fetching something tastey when the kids have just gone to bed.  A regular ritual for our family.  Typically turns are taken between hubby & myself. 

So, I go through the drive thru, order my ice cream and get around to the window to pay when the girl askes, "Have you tried one of our new McCafes yet?"

Me, "Um, well, I had a cappucino thing."

Her, "Would you like to try one for free?"

Me, "Sure"

And it wasn't a little dinky trial freebie size either!  I got a full sized hazelenut latte HOT!  Boy did this just make-my-day.  Not only was it FREE and really cool that this happened, but the mere fact I was thinking of getting a coffe with my ice cream on the way over then telling myself that was silly to begin with, the ice cream was silly to begin with!! 

Isn't it just amazing how things work out like that?  Oh, and THANK YOU McDonald's for bringing the spirit back to the people.  I have to say when we lived down by Madison the McDonalds there were just nasty.  The employees don't care about their jobs OR their customers, and Mt Horeb was worse yet!  You could order a cheeseburger and I guarantee the order would be wrong.  WRONG, always wrong!  It's just nice to have a good experience when you go somewhere. 

So far in Neenah we've only had the best of experiences at McDonalds.  So keep up the good work folks! 

Would you like that super sized?

SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be &quotDo you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.

SIGN HERE: Aries.

Boomer Sooner, and Keep The Faith!

-s2bs Sooner

• baked beans with sour cream, fetta, parsley, tabasco & bbq sauce - on toast
  you know how it is, your in a rush, you go to the fridge and you can't see anything immediately obvious so you just chuck in whatever is within arms reach... sometimes it works other times not so much
• fried sweet potato biscuits    
  I have a very limited breakfast repertoire... I'm not EVER consuming last nights left-over spaghetti for breaky.  It's muesli, fruit, croissant, eggs, toast and that's about it.  Anything else is just too much for my piss-weak gullet (Kazbah on Darling St notwithstanding).  In Japan, we stayed in a traditional japanese style hotel (when in Rome and all that) which also meant a traditional japanese style breakfast of beef soup and raw egg. I tried it once, but it wasn't for me.  Just outside our hotel was a stand which made these sweet potato biscuity things.  And so began my staple breakfast diet in Tokyo.
• mouldy lebanese bread
  My stance on mould is fairly egalitarian.  Live and let live I say. A little mould never killed anyone! And with some home-made tabbouli & humous and store-bought felafel it's an absolute treat!
• live termites
  so I was hiking and a tad peckish but who wants to stop, sit down & unload when you're lugging a massive back-pack unless you really need to.  I saw a termite mound, one of my fellow hikers said they were ok to eat so I had a crack at it.  Minty.
• vegemite & tomato vitawheats
  I don't feel any need to justify myself here.  It's just good. Period. 

Now, to the ones that made me want to gag (or the ones that actually made me gag if I'm brutally honest):

• baked beans with egg and chilli sauce - on toast
  I don't mean "an egg", I mean, lightly beaten and added to the baked beans during the cooking process.  I takes on a lovely vomitous texture in the sauce.
• jelly made from pork blood
  I was in a vietnamese restaurant and I wanted comfort food  - it was cold so I ordered congee, a soupy rice dish that I generally really love.  This traditional-style congee included the aforementioned jelly cut into big squares, some liver, a little kidney and god knows what else.  Kidney and liver I'm ok with - hell, I like pate!  The blood jelly was a little, well, "bloody", shall we say.  I don't know if it was laziness so much as sheer determination, I ate most of it.
• McDonalds breakfast
  What can I say... late for work, young, lazy and stupid.  I'll tell you right now, I don't know what that yellow substance but it ain't cheese that's for sure. 
• chicken, fetta and parsley omelette
  Well, what's wrong with that you say?  Nothing if the chicken wasn't a tad worse for wear and probably should have been thrown out 2 days ago. 
• prawns eyes
  It was for a bet.  Sure I won but in hindsight I could probably have happily lost this bet. 
• a goldfish
  Again a bet.  This time there were vast amount of alcohol involved.  I pulled it straight from the tank, alive and dropped it into my mouth. I figured a pre-drop mouthful of milk would help line my mouth and throat so I wouldn't feel it wriggling around.  I was right.  Ok so I didn't gag at the time but even writing about it now makes me throw up in my mouth a little bit. 
• knishes
  take some potato, roll it into a turd shape, cover it in breadcrumbs and fry it.  Jews and food should not be mixed.   Take matzoh balls for christs sake!  Here, eat some cardboard with your soup... yummy!
• reuben sandwich
  ok so I'm in NY at the famous Carnegie Deli so I order this thing I know nothing about except that it's a classic.  Imagine... about half a kilo of pastrami and a teaspooon of coleslaw burying 2 pieces of rye bread and then covering it a pound of cheese and sticking it under the griller to melt. Oh, and don't forget the BOWL of flavoured mayonnaise on the side.  Human beings should not eat this shit!  Of course, I did take my sister there for dinner not less than a week later!  I however had chicken soup.

Don't think the revoltingness of these meals stopped me from eating them.  Didn't I mention that Iaziness was the over-arching concept here?  Good or bad, all of them have been consumed wholeheartedly and without regret.

This post goes a bit away from the political nut shell. So here's the deal, I'm applying for a job that requires a cover letter. The thing is, I have never written a cover letter in my life, I guess there's always a first for everything! So... what do I write? "Hey my name is Patrick, please please please hire me!" Or "My name is Patrick I went to so so school, then I went to work for these people and did this and that...and I'm cool!"

So to the reader, if you feel like sharing some advice or some links in regards samples of Cover Letters, this would be fantastic. But yea..thats it for this blog, I know..it's short. Oh welllz!

Contrast that tactic with that employed by McDonalds, recently coming onto the scene with budget gourmet coffee.  Behold, unsnobbycoffee.com.  That website certainly has a few things going for it--tongue in cheek humor, a bit of fun at the expense of people who might be tempted to try the new Starbucks blends.  It also emphasizes price at a time when there are rumors that gourmet coffee is suffering the effects of a tough economy.

So I'm curious what people think about these two disparate marketing techniques....  My thoughts are that the two are actually appealing to different audiences--but for the short term, my bet is on McDonald's to come out on top.  McD's is targeting a group often ignored by higher end coffee shops--the budget coffee lover.  And at times like these, who isn't on a budget?

Congrats Manila, if we in the US were only so wise.

--Nick

secondly: you can order mcdonald's by phone, and we've only done it twice (tonight being the second time). when i called, i noticed how they said "mcdonalds" - and you are going to love it! ready... "mc dilly willy's"!!! isn't that great!? i called back twice, after calling the first time to place the order, and made ryan listen to the recording with me. after i hung up the phone ryan goes, "this is going to end up in your blog isn't it?" and i said, "that's exactly why i called it again! to make sure i hadn't misheard it!"

sometimes i like to take different routes home from work, just to change it up a bit. i really only have two options: the subway or a taxi. today i opted for the taxi because i didn't feel like being underground and i wanted to look at the outside. i used to do the same thing in nyc. sometimes i'd take another subway line because the walk to that particular subway was in another direction. it's good to change up routines, or so they say.

speaking of which, who is "they?" who are these they that are always saying? and wherefore?

i have had a hankering for pancakes/flapjacks/hotcakes all day long! i mean, for the love of batter, i'm about to go crazy. i tried making pancakes a while back, but i didn't have the proper pan, so they just stuck to the bottom. talk about a bad day. i think saying "flapjack" is more fun than "pancake." they're the same same but different, right?

i was doing laundry earlier and i met the french guy that just moved into the building. i smiled and said hello, and wasn't planning on striking up a conversation, but he just stood there staring at me. which made me feel awkward. and then i don't know if i started talking to him because i felt obligated or because i didn't want the feeling of awkwardness to be present anymore. nonetheless, all i could think about during our conversation was monty python. you know, the part where the guard soldier guy says, "I'm French. Why do you think I have this outrageous accent, you silly king?" aside from all that, the frenchman was nice.

it's wednesday, so you know what that means...? me either.

Vi sono mancato? Mi sono assentato per qualche giorno causa problemi pc (leggi “ferie” nel mio ridente paesino in provincia di nulla…) pertanto non ho potuto postare e, onde evitare che vi affezioniate troppo a madre e vergine Triscele, eccomi qui a ricostituire il potere del trio!!!

Oggi, durante le mie visite quotidiane ai siti preferiti, mi sono imbattuto in un titolo che mi ha procurato una subitanea slogatura mandibolare per lo shock: “Il Vaticano invita a combattere la cristianofobia” (http://www.uaar.it/news/2008/08/30/vaticano-invita-combattere-cristianofobia).

Ma che c**** è la “cristianofobia”!? … cazzo!

Dopo estenuanti e approfondite ricerche, oggi ho scoperto che la “cristianofobia” (parola che attualmente non si trova nemmeno su Wiki… chissà perché!?) è letteralmente la paura dei cristiani.

Pubblicità   

Dopo “Acari” e “La vendetta della Crusca”, il nuovo film di Stephen S.: “Zio Prete”

 Con uno straordinario Jack Nicholson nel ruolo di Annina

… provate ad addormentarvi

se ci riuscite…

Vabbè, la definizione era piuttosto scontata. Stavo pensando, ma questi c’hanno proprio la faccia come il mmm… e ringrazia che so’ ‘na signora perché me stavi a fa di’ “CULO”!

Non che io non condanni qualsiasi forma di violenza, ma da qui a parlare di “cristianofobia”… Soprattutto in un paese come il nostro che non concede diritti civili che altrove vengono dati per scontato, soprattutto detto da un altro paese (perché non dimentichiamoci che il Vaticano è un altro stato… se vogliono dirci chi dobbiamo combattere e chi è il nemico, almeno si inventino qualcosa come McDonald’s…) che ha sempre discriminato e combattuto e tutt’ora discrimina e combatte.

Verrebbe da chiedersi (anzi, da chiedere al Vaticano) come mai non invita a combattere l’omofobia, l’ateofobia, ecc. ecc. ecc.?

Inoltre, siccome mi sento polemico (e, come direbbe la Santanché, “lo rivendico con orgoglio!”), dirò che, solidarietà a parte, non capisco perché debba dispiacermi di più per un cristiano che viene perseguitato che per le migliaia di persone che vengono quotidianamente perseguitate nel resto del mondo per i più svariati motivi. Non ci dicono sempre, i signori del Vaticano, che tutti sono il nostro popolo? Siamo di fronte alla solita ipocrisia e a alla solita, disgustosa manovra politico/mediatica… odio i sentimenti a buon mercato.

E se vi sembro troppo polemico… ‘sticazzi!

They wait in silence on the empty street until her curiosity gets the
best of her.
She finally blurts out, 'What the hell, go ahead.'
He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around
very slowly and carefully.
He bounces and weighs each breast and he gently pinches each nipple.
He pushes her breasts together and rubs them against each other.
After a couple of minutes of this, she says, 'Okay, okay....How old am
I?'

He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and
says, 'Madam, you are 50.'

Stunned and amazed, the woman says, 'That was incredible, how could
youtell?'

The old man says, 'Promise you won't get mad?'
'I promise I won't,' she says.

'I was behind you at McDonalds.'

Kristi....do you know who this person is??? Too funny, Thanks.....

For Chrissakes! Just be your patty-unthawing, child-fattening self! Have some backbone! Quit being ashamed of selling cheap food. Fuck mahogany accented furniture and polished granite counter tops, when I go through those golden arches I want to sit in a red vinyl padded, plastic booth with a life-sized Ronald McDonald sculpture looking over me. I don't want to listen to the Rolling Stones at McDonald's, I want to listen to crappy smooth jazz. And the walls should be decorated with laughably terrible art, not the totally characterless bland shit that they put up now. When I was a kid, the McDonald's that my family went to had paintings of crayons that were "drawing" a rainbow with a bunch of salmon jumping over it. The best thing about the new Mickey-D's? The cookie fan. If you don't know what the cookie fan is, just pop into the nearest remodeled branch and find an advertisement for their new cookies. Stand next to it and smell. Fake cookies. Awesome. I LOVE the smell of fresh cookies, even if they aren't real.

So stick to your guns, McDonald's. You don't need to seem cool. You are cool. The Big Mac is a fast-food masterpiece, you're still the number one restaurant in the world, and Morgan Spurlock is officially a pussy.

Now we were in the car, and her heavy lids were shuttering down in the warm, soporific hum of its interior. Her WALL-E and EVE toys were put to bed already, underneath the hem of her fairy skirt.

'Daddy? Would I like something to eat?' Her voice was langorous.

'Sure, sweetpea. What would you like?'

'Um . . . would I like a burger and chippies?'

'Yeah, sure.'

'From the Big Letter M?'

'The Big, Yellow Letter M that has a clown statue outside?'

'Yeah! I like that one.'

No reservations..... What is there to say, either you love Tony or you don't. I for one think this is probably the best television show on, behind Entourage of course.... but thats in a boat all its own.

I was watching an episode today where he was in Laos and I began to think about my own travels throughout the years.

I am truly amazed that no matter how far I've gone, the west has crept steadily into the most remote areas with its coke cans and nike tees. Yet somehow, in this episode, you only saw a handful of tourists. This is a great thing, no one loves to be at the destination of their dreams surrounded by thousands of people from just down the street snapping their cameras away as if Big Foot crept onto their front porch.

The world is missing (and losing) the places we can truly called untouched. While I would love to go see them all before theyve succumb to the treachery of McDonalds and megabrands, I,unfortunately think this isnt the answer. I want to stay away and not tell anyone about them so that these places can stay "Wild" if you will.

Also, I have to say with all the people Ive met along the way, no matter what race, nationality or religion, I have felt a bond. Even when I couldnt understand a word they were saying, a simple glance with warm eyes and a heart felt smile has gone a long way. We're all on this rock together. It doesnt matter that I am here in NJ or that Akmehd is out in Cairo. We all work to be the best we can. and no one can take that away.

In the midst of driving between different stores I listened to Burial's Untrue, an album released at the tail-end of 2007. [album cover]

Recently in the world of London's burgeoning grime and garage musics scenes, dubstep has emerged as the genre du jour. Rhythmically, dubstep relies on 2-step beats, meaning pop music's ubiquitous 4/4 or 3/4 time stamps are no where to be found. Beats are skipped, bars repeated. But above all, the genre is about tone and moodiness. Stark, lonely soundscapes seem to be a benchmark for its composers.

After Untrue's intro, "Archangel" reveals the pattern to be repeated throughout the album: warped and warbled vocal samples, repeating melancholy phrases like `holding you, good at being alone,` the lines echoing like a lonely confession across a vast, empty abyss. The following track ("Near Dark") stays the course, the mysterious vocal sample repeating `I envied you. I can't take my eyes off you.`

These fragments of melodic prose yanked from songs in medias res invoke a sort of immediate drama like that of Roy Lichtenstein's single frame comic strips:

Minor keys permeate the album, and that's not to say this singular vision of tone and atmosphere become stale or trite at any point. It's quite the opposite. Burial, at the time of Untrue's release, was an anonymous musician, the invisibility a charm, like other heroes of musical obscurity, a la Jandek or Astrobotnia. The album, then, comes off as an artist's secret, unique vision, a 50 minute vignette of gloomy, overcast London, passing by slums spangled with graffiti and decay, catching glances, hearing intimate, scattershot details along the way, tiny metallic rings and bells chiming softly somewhere in the distance. The sound of rain pattering on a window, or the hollow resonance of an empty tube station. It's an album afraid of loneliness, asking not for pity or solutions but, like anyone with a problem, for you simply to listen.

Similar to it's brooding, cerebral ancestor, ...Endtroducing, the album is a total experience, not a thin collection of singles. Its confused dance rhythms, waves of dark synths, hazy sense of half-dreams, and reverb-laden vocals make it alluring, like the soundtrack to a dancehall full of shadows and specters.

Driving back home, past the wind-whipped palm trees lining the shopping center, it started drizzling. I turned down county road 31 where the supplanted tropics gave way to native evergreens, tall and foreboding. The poetically titled two minute track "In McDonalds" came on. In its short span it revealed a deep sadness, a sadness akin to to adding M&Ms to a McFlurry or asking some 8-year-old brat named Skylar or Cindi-with-an-"i" what kind of sauce they want with their 'Nuggets. Hell, it was depressing enough for Burial just to be there, I didn't want to imagine working there.

Must ..f-...find a...real...job

I got home, and a friend alerted me that Banksy, a London guerilla graffiti artist in the same identity-unknown vein of Burial, had marked some of his work on buildings in New Orleans. Awesome!