Eu não sei como vai ser quando o bebê nascer, mas acho que seis meses é muito tempo mesmo, assim como a Miriam fala. Deve ser super ruim deixar o filho em casa ou na escolinha depois dos quatro meses, mas a mãe precisa voltar à vida normal. Ficar em casa durante 4 meses sem conseguir dormir direito e só falando do filho deve ser uma delícia durante um tempo, mas o cérebro da mulher vai começando a atrofiar.

Uma coisa que eu acho que as mães não podem esquecer é que os filhos vão sobreviver sem elas. O problema são as mães, que acham que não vão conseguir sobreviver sem os filhos, sabe? Outra coisa: na hora em que o filho vira adulto, ele vai viver a vida dele (assim como nós fizemos) e a mãe continua sendo a fulana de tal, mas pode ter perdido todo o foco da vida dela em função do filho. E não estou falando só de carreira, mas da relação com o marido, com os amigos, com ela mesma... Com o seu crescimento pessoal.

Lê aí a matéria:
http://claudia.abril.com.br/materias/3229/?sh=31&cnl=35

Janine: The square of the hypotenuse of a right triangle is equal to the sum of the squares on the other two sides.

Claudia: Fuck you bitch.

Mimi: *has a stroke*

Claudia: Waaaah! Another thing to angst about! Janine, don't help me at all. I do not - repeat, do not - want your help... Hey, screw you, why aren't you helping me?

Janine: I was merely-

Claudia: Huh?

Janine: I was simply -

Claudia: Wha?

Janine: I was just -

Claudia: I'm not following.

Janine: *sigh* You're a dumb shit.

Claudia: Yeah. But I have friends. Ha, burn! No, for reals, love you.

Janine: Love you too.

The End.

Psych! You didn't really think I could leave it at that, did you? I am far too verbose for that.

Okay. Iteration One. Claudia feels insignificant next to her genius sister. It doesn't matter that she's pretty and popular and creative and so on ad nauseum [highlight on the nauseum.] Janine is Ma and Pa's little physicist-in-training [hehe, that makes PIT.] She's their parents favourite - or so Claudia believes.

BSC meeting! Kristy's bossy! Stacey's sophisticated! Mary Anne's shy! Dawn's an individual! And, because they are FUCKING SADISTS who just can't FUCKING ENJOY THEIR SUMMER, they decide to run a playgroup. Let me remind you, this comes hot on the heels of Kristy's Big Day, during which they ran a playgroup to accomodate Kristy's family's rugrats. Yeah. So they go around the neighbourhood handing out fliers [insert an 'Ewwww, Jenny P!' right about... now] and everyone loves the idea. I would too. $3 to get rid of the little shits for half a day? Right on!

The Kishi 'rentals go out to dinner the night before the playgroup starts, leaving Mimi [I can't write Mimi without thinking of Mariah fucking Carey], Claudia and Janine at home. Claudia and Mimi decide to do breakfast-for-dinner [I could so do breakfast-for-every-meal.] Mimi asks Claudia to ask Janine if that's all right. Their exchange goes a little something [well, a lot something, cause it's a direct quotation] like this:

"You want waffles for dinner?" I asked (Janine) abruptly. "That's what Mimi and I chose." [Why ask her if you've already decided?]

Janine looked up from her keyboard. "You already chose waffles?"  she repeated. (I'd just said so, hadn't I?) [Bitch!] "Sure. Waffles are fine. How come you didn't ask me what I wanted?"

"I'm asking you now." [Bitch bitch!]

Over dinner, they discuss Claudia's playgroup. Does she really not know what flexible means? Then Janine suggest they play The Trivia Game [which I assume is, like, a 2 Dollar Shop version of Trivial Pursuit] and Mimi's all, *choking on her waffle* "Really? You would like to play with us?" and Claudia's all, "You just want to make me look stupid." But she agrees, for Mimi's sake.

Janine trounces them, of course. Yeah, she's a bit know-it-all annoying during this section. To coin a BSC-ism, I'm not being conceited when I say that I always kick arse when I play Trivial Pursuit [I'm one of those people who knows a little about a lot of things] but I always throw a few questions, cause everyone hates that person who smugly gets question after question.

So Claudia throws a hardcore temper tantrum when Janine wins and accuses Mimi of loving Janine more, just like their parents. Okay, you know in movies how, when the lead character acts like a douche, his idol or hero or whatever gives him that look of disappointment and slowly shakes his head then walks away? Well, it doesn't say so, but Mimi totally does that to Claud.

Janine returns after awhile and tells Claudia that she won't tell their parents that she has Nancy Drew books in her room. Cause there's this thing, in the game, and blah, Claudia slips that she's got them. The Kishi's are so stupid. Claudia's a reluctant reader - they should be cheering that she's reading anything! They don't really think she's going to pick up Anna Karenina like, ever, do they?

Whatevs. Janine promises not to tell. They have a semi-la la laa [think Family Guy, the episode where Peter's trying to win his father's love] moment that is interrupted by a thud from Mimi's room. They find her passed out on the floor in a state of undress. End Iteration One.

Iteration Two. Boring hospital stuff. I'm sorry, the only thing more boring than being in a hospital is reading about being in one in my opinion. Mimi doesn't die, of course. Not in this book. But she's very weak and need all sorts of therapy and Claudia honestly believes that her tantrum caused the blood vessel in Mimi's brain to burst, so she takes it on herself to look after her grandmother. Then, of course, bitches Janine out for not helping.

Iteration Two of the B Plot - Jenny P's a brat. Karen's a pathological liar creative storyteller. Snooze.

Iteration Three - the BSCer's are paid guests at Lucille Jane Newton's christening [I write her full name cause I think it's really pretty.] Jamie isn't happy about all the attention that Lucille Jane's been receiving. Another example of bratiness that's adorable when it's not Jenny P. Long story short, Jamie comes this close to tipping punch over Lucille Jane's gown [seriously, I am never going to call her Lucy again] but stops at the last minute. As he explains to Claud, "She's still my sister and I love her."

Ping! You can hear that lightbulb... um, light up above Claudia's head. Despite everything, Janine is still her sister.  Stuff happens. They love each other. Sunrise, sunset. Oh, and she apologises to Mimi about causing her stroke but Mimi explains that she didn't and... la la laaa.

Outfits!

• First outfit of the book [and it's awesome]: black jeans, a giant bright blue T-shirt and the infamous snake bracelet. I'm actually bidding on a giant, bright blue T-shirt on ebay at the moment:

          And here's a little something extra for y'all:

• On the first day of the playgroup, Stacey wears knee length, lime green shorts, matching high top sneakers and a white T-shirt with a taxi on the front, Dawn eshews her usual California Casual look for a 'suprisingly New York kind of outfit' consisting of striped pants with suspenders over a red shirt, and Kristy and MA are boring.
• At Lucille Jane's christening, Claudia wears a white shirt with black splatters, knee length black pants and gold sandals that lace halfway up her leg [oh, yeah!] Plus some beads and stuff, and does her hair in four braids. If you think that sounds like a fucking terrible thing to wear to a christening, chillax. Claud informs us that it was okay for her to dress so cas, cause she wasn't going to an actual church ceremony - just a ceremony in a church.

*I ended up winning it. Yay me!

Things that make you go hmmm:

• Claudia says that she'd rather pay for her own clothes than have to wear Janine's yucky hand-me-downs. You telling me that someone as creative as Claud doesn't know how to funk up a button down or a plain kilt? Puh-lease.
• Claudia also says that when she and Dawn stand next to each other, they look like a photograph and it's negative, which I think is way too deep for our Claud.
• There's this semi-real moment when the BSC-ers agree that Stacey's house will be best for the playgroup cause her mum will be home and their clients will probably want to know that there's an adult around. But. If you were Mrs McGill, what would you say when your daughter asks if she can use your backyard to house dozens of loud, messy children? Hell to the no, is what I'd say.
• Why can't these girls just let their charges do something fun? Why does there always have to be a lesson?
• Did you know that Jenny P's a brat? Also, when Claire Pike hits Suzi Barrett cause she's pissed at Jenny, totally Jenny's fault. No need to even talk to Claire about using words instead of fists. All Jenny's fault.
• CAN SOMEBODY PLEASE RECOMMEND A BOOK THAT DOESN'T HAVE KAREN FUCKING BREWER IN IT?!!!!
• Hey girls? It's not your responsibilty to keep the kids clothes clean. If Mrs P wants to send Jenny out to play dressed in white, that's her fucking bad luck. Also? White's actually kind of a good colour [shade, whatevs] for kids to wear cause you can just bleach the stains out.
• Karen tells everyone that Andrew's a monster, and the kids, like, literally run away from him, and oh, isn't that just the sweetest thing you've ever seen? Isn't she just so creative? And the girls totally use the threat of Andrew-Monster to get Jenny P to do stuff. Now that's a bit underhanded, isn't it?
• Yep, this is the one where they give Louie a makeover. I still kind of enjoy that bit.
• Jamie's such a little arsehole!
• '[Janine] pressed a few keys, waited a moment, then reached around to the side of the computer and touched something or other that made the screen go blank.' Ooooh, the mystery of computers in the early 90's!

Next week, on The BSC Are Better Than You:

    +        +        =   

Ao lado de Juliana estão Letícia Birkheuer, Luiza Brunet e Dalma Callado, estrelas de décadas distintas que fazem parte da história da revista. Juntas elas mostram que moda e sensualidade não têm idade. (Contigo)

Leia matéria ferente a Juliana no site da revista Claudia.

~~~~~~~~

Time to move this chair....over here I think...

       hmmm...something's still not quite right...

   I think folded and upside down is DEFINITELY the answer.

  All Better, now let's tackle that Laundry behind me.

That's me. Heiße Sandra Claudia Bauer. Ahhhh... daher das c in der Adresse :)

Whatever. O fi  corect si legal in mintea unora .

Amuzant insa e sa citesti asta : " După ani de zile în care s-a chinuit să-şi ascundă trupul, se pare că şi Cream s-a “aliniat” la această modă care a consacrat multe vedete. "

Simona fata mosului ia fi "antena" cat de puternic s-a chinuit sa-l ascunda  

(Poza din stg "Click" , restul la liber pe net de cand lumea...)

Em alguns dias a minha melhor amiga Claudia estara chegando para ficar duas semanas. Eh pouco tempo, mas melhor pouco do que nada, certo? E com ela iremos passar uns dias na Escocia, visitando Edimburgo e as Terras Altas escocesas. Nao poderiamos deixar de visitar o Loch Ness... :-)

Grandes memórias!

Almoçámos marmelos, nesse dia, por excepção. Mais cedo do que de costume. Ao princípio da tarde havíamos de fazer uma excursão a uma aldeia vizinha para presenciar uma festa rústica. Esse era o motivo por que se antecipava a hora do nosso almoço.

- Não percebo? - perguntou Ana Carina.

- Foi antes de tudo o resto. - respondeu Tom.

- Perguntava o que foi feito do gatinho escondido debaixo da cadeira?

- ?

- Ou, noutras palavras, o que foi feito de mim, já que sou eu a medíocre heroína destas aventuras?

- Queres saber por que o teu dia foi perturbado pela inesperada aparição dos marmelos? Tens de perguntar ao Laurencinho.

- Escuta. Tu contas admiravelmente bem; não poderias contar pior? Dir-se-ia estar a ler num livro!

Ana regressava aos pensamentos. Confusa.

«Traí-me. Porque me pareceu ele no momento em que eu estava tão nervosa? Soube que tem torturado uma criança. Para a humilhar também. Com certeza, para descarregar a raiva em alguém. Agora é azedo, cheio de maldade. Não passa de um bobo, ainda que outrora parecesse um homem honesto.»

Meia hora de ansiedade e conversa enviesada. O silêncio e a preocupação dela eram reveladores do que lhe ia no pensamento: chorava intimamente o desaparecimento dos melhores dias.

The world's heaviest man says he is to marry his girlfriend later this month after losing nearly half his original body weight.

Mexican Manuel Uribe said he and Claudia Solis would wed in his home town of Monterrey on 26 October.

The 43-year-old entered the Guinness Book of Records in 2006 after tipping the scales at 560kg (88 stones).

Manuel, who has lost around 250kg (39 stones), said he would be steering clear of the wedding cake.

He would have just one bite for the cameras, but no more, he was quoted as saying.

"It will be a hefty wedding, on a large scale, but with a low-calorie banquet," he told the AFP news agency.

Proud fiance

Manuel Uribe has attributed his weight loss to the love and encouragement he has received from Claudia, whom he has known for four years. The couple have been engaged for two years.

He is currently only able to leave his house by being towed through the streets on his specially-made bed - and dreams of being able to walk again.

Manuel has been following something called the Zone Diet - eating carbohydrates, proteins and fats in a ratio of 40:30:30, supervised by a team of scientists and nutritionists.

However, some experts warn that not enough is known about the long-term effects of diets high in proteins.

Claudia is nevertheless proud of the progress her husband-to-be has made.

"Sometimes he is sad and cries because he cannot get off his bed," she told the BBC in July.

"But he is an example for other obese people to move forward. As he says: 'If I can, you can'."

Upon being told, after waiting all night in the pumpkin patch with Linus, there is No such thing as the Great Pumpkin....

J’aurais bien aimé écrire à ce sujet un peu plus tôt, mais ces derniers jours je ne sais plus trop où donner de la tête!!!

Mais bon, allons droit au but, je vais vous donner mes impressions d’OD 2008. Premièrement, parlons du choix des mecs. Pourquoi encore une fois, il n’y a pas des personnes de différentes ethnies??!

Pourquoi c’est juste des monsieurs genre-entraîneur-je-viens-de-la-banlieue-

et-je-parle-avec-un-vocabulaire-approximatif?

Excusez-moi… Il n’y a pas de Noirs qui auditionnent pour ça? Des Arabes? Des Latinos? Des Asiatiques? Non? OooH, ok! Donc, il y a juste des Québécois caucasiens. Ah, Ok! Pardonnez-moi pour cette énorme méprise!!!

(Occupation Double est encore plus hypocrite que Star Académie.)

Mais bon, passons. Parlons du physique de ces messieurs afin de rester dans le moule de cette superficielle télé-réalité.

Personnellement, je ne les trouve pas tous BEAU et les filles ont vraiment exagéré en leur disant « wôw, vous êtes beaux, pétards! N’importe quoi. Elles avaient l’air de vraies chattes en chaleur sur le bateau. C’était pathétique de les voir aller.

Bon, j’y vais, je vais vous donner mon humble avis, très objectif, sur chacun des membres. Et avis aux âmes sensibles face à la bitcherie, évitez de me lire si vous n’aimez pas ce que je dis. Venez pas non plus me dire « pourquoi, toi Miss Potin, tu ne participes pas à ce genre d’émission? Parce que j’ai trop de classe et je ne vendrai pas mon âme au diable pour une maison située dans le 450. Quand on participe à une télé-réalité, il faut être prêt à assumer la critique. Let’s go!

Luc, le millionnaire :

Duh, c’était trop évident qu’il allait se faire éliminer. Trop « vieux» et sur le plan physique, ce qui est beau avec lui, c’est son cash. Mais ça, malheureusement, les filles ne l’ont jamais su au moment de l’élimination. Ah, si seulement, elles le savaient! Je mets ma main au feu, qu’il serait resté jusqu’à la fin. On lui aurait trouvé de superbes de belles qualités!Évidemment, maintenant qu’il est disponible et qu’il est affiché sur un quelconque site de rencontres en ligne, je vous gage qu’il y aura pas mal de matantes du Québec qui vont se précipiter dans ses bras pour leur consoler, le materner, lui, son fils et ses millions.

Guillaume, 23 ans

Un mot : loser.

Un deuxième : immature.

En quelques mots : un loser immature.

En une phrase : Il a l’air d’un jeune ado en quête de fiiiiiiiiiilles et non, d’un homme en quête d’une femme. Il a l’air maladroit, niais et vendeur d’automobiles. Pas attirant, non plus.

Rémi, 34 ans

Il me fait penser à la Matrix, il a l’air de sortir tout droit d’un jeu de vidéo de Ubisoft.

Vous l’aurez sûrement deviné, je ne le trouve pas attirant. Il a l’air d’un intellectuel asexué, en plus.

Samuel, 28 ans

Il a un je-ne-sais-quoi. Son regard est doux, il est mignon aussi. À surveiller!

Mathieu, 24 ans.

J’ai un sentiment que celui-ci va en briser des cœurs cette saison!!! Il y a quelque chose de très viril en lui (à part le fait qu’il soit plombier!!!). Sur le plan physique, il est attirant. On verra…

Christian, 27 ans

Baaaaahhh. Bof. C’est un entraîneur. Rien d’autres à dire.

Cédrik, 23 ans

Le blond du 514. Il dégage absolument rien. Faudra voir d’autres épisodes pour mieux le connaître et en fait, essayer de découvrir s’il a une «personnalité.» Car blond n’est pas une personnalité….

Bon, les filles!

J’étais choquée que les mecs aient voulu retourner les filles en robe de couleur !!! C’était selon moi, les plus belles (surtout Olivia). Il faut la surveiller celle-là, elle semble avoir une superbe de personnalité et je suis sûre que son charme ne laissera aucun mec indifférent.

J’ai regardé son profil et elle a répondu : « aucun» à la question : « quel est ton livre préféré?»

Vraiment, superbe… Ça promet.

Bon, évidemment, elle représente le côté « internationale » du show. Elle a dit venir de France… Elle ressemble beaucoup à une Arabe quand même…

Les plus jolies selon moi : Olivia (elle est vraiment très belle),

Claudia (elle dégage beaucoup),

Misty

et Carole-Ann (ça, c’est le genre de filles que les mecs apprécient beaucoup… simple, souriante, jolie, pas intimidante pour deux sous. Mais je ne la trouve pas « wôw.»)

Bon, pour le reste, je les trouve correcte, à part Jessica. Je ne comprends pas pourquoi ils l’ont choisi? Est-ce pour sa bouche de cheval avec ses gros yeux bleus pâles globuleux?

Franchement, avec toutes les belles filles qui il y a au Québec, ce choix demeure douteux.

Cette année OD a frappé fort avec le twist d’une troisième maison…Ça sent des coups chiens de loin…

Sentez-vous libre de commenter sur OD sur mon blogue! Ça coûte rien, contrairement au site officiel qui vous demandent de payer… Gang de cheaps, Québécor.